Unseen Scars - : My Battle with Endometriosis and Adenomyosis

By Mikal

I've been living in the shadows of chronic illness for over a decade, fighting a war that's ravaged my body, mind, and spirit. My journey began with misdiagnoses and dismissals – told I had IBS, that it was just a "bad period," or that I was being "too sensitive." But I knew my body, and I knew something was horribly wrong.

It wasn't until years later, after countless doctor's appointments, surgeries, and tests, that I finally received my diagnosis: endometriosis. But that wasn't the end of it – further testing revealed I also had adenomyosis, another debilitating condition that's stolen my quality of life.

The pain is relentless, a constant companion that's dictated every aspect of my life. I've lost count of the number of times I've had to cancel plans, miss work, or spend days in bed, unable to move. The financial burdens have been crippling, with medical bills piling up and my career hanging in the balance.

But it's not just the physical toll that's been devastating – it's the emotional and mental strain. I've faced gaslighting from doctors, been told I'm "just being dramatic," or that my symptoms are "all in my head." I've felt like I'm losing myself, like I'm just a shadow of the person I used to be.

The shame and guilt have been overwhelming, making me feel like I'm a burden to those around me. I've lost friends who couldn't understand what I was going through, who grew tired of my constant cancellations and absences. My work has been on the line, with my employers questioning my reliability and commitment.

There have been times when the darkness has felt suffocating, when the depression and suicidal thoughts have crept in, whispering lies that I'm worthless, that I'm better off dead. But I've refused to give up, refused to let this illness define me.

I've found solace in online support groups, connecting with others who understand my struggles. I've learned to advocate for myself, to push for answers, and to demand care. I've discovered a strength within me that I never knew existed, a resilience that's carried me through the darkest of times.

If you're reading this and you're struggling with endometriosis, adenomyosis, or any other chronic illness, know that you're not alone. Know that your pain is real, your feelings are valid, and your life is worth fighting for. Don't give up, even when it feels like the darkness is closing in. Keep pushing, keep fighting, and know that there is hope.